Healing and Forgiveness

"There are few things so completely contrary to the plan of our Heavenly Father than the problem of abuse. Abuse involves hurting, demeaning, and controlling others, and often the worst types of abuse take place within families."

-Successful Marriage and Families, Chapter 24: Understanding Abuse in Family Life by Kay Bradford and Jason B. Whiting

LDS church leaders have given this definition of abuse:

"Abuse is the physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual mistreatment of others. It may not only harm the body, but it can deeply affect the mind and spirit, destroying faith and causing confusion, doubt, mistrust, guilt, and fear."

I think we all have a pretty good idea of the seriousness of abuse as well as the different types of abuse. For my purposes in this post, I would like to focus on healing and forgiveness. 

This following video is an incredibly powerful example of the effects forgiveness can have on our lives, as well as the lives of the abuser, or anyone who has hurt us in any way.

An anonymous survivor of abuse spoke about her healing process of more than 20 years. This person said, "I had never really understood the healing power of the Atonement. I had no idea how personal and penetrating it could be, no idea that it could heal my broken heart and take away the pain and hurt and anger and bitterness that I had been feeling for so many years." (Successful Marriages and Families, p.263)

I think it's important to note the differences between Chris' experience and the experience of the anonymous survivor. We all have different experiences and we all forgive in different ways, including different periods of time. 

While I have never suffered any forms of serious abuse, I do know what it feels like to go through the long process of healing and forgiveness. As we focus on making progress and applying the atonement in our lives, we will start to feel a change. Sure, it may be a slow change, but I promise with all of my heart that even just the smallest dose of the atonement in our lives can make a huge difference.

When it comes to forgiveness and healing, focus on progress, not perfection.

After all, that's what Christ's grace is all about - making up for where we lack.

He is there and He will help.

For further reading on healing from abuse, I highly suggest this talk by Richard G. Scott.

I was tempted to just use that for my entire post!