"Marriage between man and woman is essential to God's eternal plan."
-The Family: A Proclamation to the World
I think all of us have been affected by divorce in one way or another, whether it be yourself, your parents, a sibling, or a friend. Divorce has become increasingly more common as a result of the no-fault bill passed in 1969.
"In 1969, Governor Ronald Reagan of California made what he later admitted was one of the biggest mistakes of his political life. Seeking to eliminate the strife and deception often associated with the legal regime of fault-based divorce, Reagan signed the nation's first no-fault divorce bill. The new law eliminated the need for couples to fabricate spousal wrongdoing in pursuit of a divorce; indeed, one likely reason for Reagan's decision to sign the bill was that his first wife, Jane Wyman, had unfairly accused him of "mental cruelty" to obtain a divorce in 1948. But no-fault divorce also gutted marriage of its legal power to bind husband and wife, allowing one spouse to dissolve a marriage for any reason — or for no reason at all."
(I highly, highly, highly suggest reading this article. I found it very interesting!)
Unfortunately, this seems to be an increasingly popular take on divorce...
So let's talk statistics for a minute:
-Research has shown the first five years of marriage to be at the greatest risk for divorce
-In 75% of divorced couples at least one person regrets divorcing one year after the breakup
-Only about 30% of U.S. couples that divorce try to reconcile before divorcing
-Most couples do not seek out counseling before divorcing
-75% of individuals report being happy or very happy a few years after contemplating divorce and rating lowest on the marital satisfaction scale
(All statistics come from Successful Marriages and Families, Ch. 8, p.82-82)
Well then, statistics show that divorce happens all too often and is usually regretted by at least one of the former spouses.
I do want to take a minute to state that there are certainly circumstances where divorce is needed and is essential. Regarding "just cause" for divorce, President Faust has said, "In my opinion, 'just cause' should be nothing less serious than a prolonged and apparently irredeemable relationship which is destructive of a person's dignity as a human being. At the same time, I have strong feelings about what is not provocation for breaking the sacred covenants of marriage. Surely it is not simply 'mental distress' nor 'personality differences,' nor 'having grown apart,' nor 'having fallen out of love.' this is especially so where there are children." (Successful Marriages and Families, Ch. 8, p.80)
What then is the best course of action when a marriage is at the crossroads of divorce?
"If we find ourselves at the crossroads of divorce, the best path usually is to seek divine help to change course and repair the marriage." (Successful Marriages and Families, Ch 8, p.85)
Elder Oaks says it best in this talk on divorce, parts of which are read in the following video.
As I've grown up, I've seen countless examples of marriages that endured and persisted even through the darkest days and darkest hours. Many of those marriages have one thing in common: they don't allow the "d" word in their marriage. A BYU graduate in Marriage and Family Studies explains this so well in her blog post about how she threatened divorce.
I also highly suggest this General Conference talk by L. Whitney Clayton on marriage.
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