Fathers

There are many different principles and concepts I could talk about when it comes to fathers, but what struck me most from our chapter, "Honor Thy Father," was about being present in your parenting. Sean E. Brotherson says:

"Parenting requires presence. While a parent does not need to be constantly present to care for children, a parent's presence is a fundamental requirement if he is to meet children's needs and build a lasting parent-child bond. The longing of any individual for home, especially the longing of a child, is partly the longing for the presence of family members who furnish security and love. The longing for home, a universal aspect of human history and psychology, is a longing for presence, for parental connection, for companionship in family living. A fundamental principle of fathering that meets this need is to be present in a child's life and consciousness, to be available and aware of a child's needs such that he or she develops in an atmosphere of security and love."

I absolutely love that quote! It sums up one of the most important things fathers can do for their children. I cannot stress enough the importance of being "present in a child's life and consciousness." Think about it! To be present in your child's consciousness! That presence requires a bond created from the very beginning, a bond that is nourished, strengthened, and sustained throughout the entirety of the father-child relationship. It is not enough for a father to be a provider and a presider if his heart isn't in it. His heart, mind, and life need to be present in the home with his wife and children.

Now, I know that not everyone has grown up with this type of father-child relationship. Some have grown up without a father at all. What I hope you determine to do is become this type of father yourself, or encourage your husband to become this kind of father.

I believe there is no greater calling a man receives in life than that of father.

As a final thought, I'll leave you with a video. I could not agree more with Sister Elaine Dalton's message in this video and the original conference talk it was given in.

On Motherhood, Fatherhood, and Parenting

Chapter 10: Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude: Proclamation Principles and Supportive Scholarship

I'm definitely not an expert on parenting, so I thought I'd let some very wise men do some of the talking for this post.

I apologize for the video overload, but I honestly can not think of any better way to share this message of the roles of mothers, fathers, and their role together as parents. 

The proclamation states, "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness... By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

It isn't by chance that it all worked out to have a mother and a father in a family. It was by divine design.

There are no greater callings in life than that of mother, father, and parent.

Parenting

 This week we talked about parenting. More specifically, we focused on disciplining your children.
Here's something I learned:

There are three circumstances in which you shouldn't let the natural consequences do the teaching, and you need to discipline your child:

1. Just too dangerous - If your child is using drugs, doing dangerous things with friends, etc.

2. Consequences are too far off in the future for the kid to be able to learn from it

3. Consequence affects other people - ex. shoplifting
 
If the circumstance falls in one of these three categories, then parents should step in and be a part of the learning and teaching process.

Here's the deal with discipline:

You need less structured discipline. If you waste all of your good punishments on smaller things, you'll be out of ideas when it comes to the big problem that they really really really need to be punished for. 

So, start off with polite requests. Respect goes a long way in the long run, and kids and adolescents will be a lot more compliant with respect in the relationship.

If the problem persists after polite requests, go on to using "I" messages. These are the classic, "I feel...." messages. Describing your feelings, rather than yelling them, or not expressing them at all. When you share feelings, you teach them how their behavior affects other people. 

If that doesn't work, move on to a firm direction. It will be much, much easier for you to defend yourself against their claims of calling your action "unfair" or "stupid" if you can come back by saying that you already tried to make a polite request and told them how you feel.

Parenting is hard, I'm sure. I'm not expert and I can guarantee that I'll fall short many, many times, bu we would all do well to remember these things and build a healthy relationship with our children.