Marriage, is what brings us together, today!

This week's topic was marriage. On Monday we talked about the proposal, the wedding, and the traditions that go along with both.
Brother Williams asked whether or not the proposal mattered, and what specifically about it mattered. When I really got to thinking about this, for me it came down to the fact that the proposal is a pretty big indicator of the type of relationship the couple has, and will have. A proposal is, by definition, "A plan or suggestion, especially a formal or written one, put forward for consideration or discussion by others." The proposal is a proposed contract that the man is bringing forth to his significant other, for her careful consideration. In Mormon culture, it's very rare that a man proposes to a woman without her knowing it's coming, but the act of the proposal is still incredibly important. It signifies an eternal commitment that both parties are making.
The actual act of the proposal shouldn't be about how much money was spent, how many fireworks there were, or about how many people were present. The proposal is about the commitment being made. That said, the romantic side of me still believes that a man needs to put time and effort into planning something special (which doesn't mean it has to cost hundreds of dollars...). How he does it will say a lot about his level of commitment and care for you, as his future spouse.

Enough with the proposal. You're engaged. Now you're planning your wedding.

It was particularly interesting to talk about what a wedding should mean and what the most important parts are. Brother Williams gave us some history on how the first weddings were conducted. The wedding celebration was actually thrown by the community, not the bride and groom's families. It was important that the community was coming together to show their acceptance of the new family.
It's sad to think that we've gotten so far away from those ideals. Now, the family plans, pays, and entertains the guests. The emphasis of the wedding is placed on the reception, not on the actual ceremony.

Wouldn't it be so refreshing and nice to get back to the way things used to be, and the way things were meant to be? The temple, and the sealing between a man and wife for time and all eternity should be the emphasis of the wedding day, not whether or not the cake was the correct shade of pink.

And here ya go... I couldn't resist :)

The Dating Game

Dating was the topic of this week's lessons, and it was particularly interesting to me (imagine that!).
As a healthy, somewhat attractive, single, and searching young woman, I found some things pretty interesting this week :)

Monday we talked about what creates a spark between two people. First of all, you need to have similarities for an interest to spark, and quite frankly, for the relationship to last. Similarities include likes and/or dislikes, education and future goals, and proximity. When you have similar likes and dislikes, you can spend time together doing things you like, which will help you (hopefully) develop a relationship. When you have similar education, you can support each other with learning styles and in your majors and prospective futures in furthering your education.

We also talked about the correlation between The Proclamation and the Three P's of Dating. In The Proclamation, men have a duty to provide, preside and protect in a marriage. The three p's of dating are planned, paid for, and paired off. It's interesting how these correlate. Provide and paid for correlate for the obvious reason that it has to do with money. Protect and paired off correlate, not just in a physical manner, but also emotionally and by using their priesthood to protect the woman's well-being. The last, preside and planned correlate in the sense that the men should be planning the date while dating, and plan FHE while in the familly.

I also think it's interesting how we incorporated Sister Dalton's devotional talk into our topic on Monday. She gave some great advice about women needing to stop "hanging out" and force the men to ask women on dates. I think that's important and vital, because when you hang out, you're often in a group and unable to get to know and connect with a particular person on a one-on-one basis.

Dating shouldn't be exhausting or hard, but exciting and fun. If only we could whip all these eligible young RM's into shape and plan me some dates this weekend!

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

It was really interesting this week to talk about gender roles, and more specifically, male typical attributes and female typical attributes. We made lists of each, and this was the outcome:

Male Typical:                                                                                  Female Typical:
Logical                                                                                            Overanalytical
Spatial Oriented                                                                              Detail Oriented
                                                                                                        Interpersonal skills
Task Oriented                                                                                 Relationship Oriented

     Women give directions by landmarks, which is a relationship to things around them, while men give directions with signs and distances.

Aggression                                                                                     Ask for help
More gray matter - Better at calculations           More white matter - Connections

Women have five times as much white matter in their brain, which is used more for making connections between things, like relationships. Men have more gray matter, which is used for being logical and for things like making calculations.

Our conversation about this was really interesting and eye-opening. It made me think about my past relationships and even my relationship with my dad. I've noticed that with my dad, my boding typically occurs when we're going on a hike or something of the like. With my mom, bond through cooking, watching a chick-flick, or even just sitting around and talking. 

Something that's important to realize is that men and women share emotion in different ways. Women shouldn't expect men to want to talk it out all the time, but their way of showing they care can be expressed in them doing something nice for you. When it comes to men, actions really do speak louder than words!

Now the real challenge is being able to apply this to our relationships without letting it frustrate us :)

Diversity and Family Culture

This week in Family Studies we've been talking about diversity within families. One of the greatest ways that families are diverse is social class. It was interesting to think a little bit about my family's socioeconomic status (SES) and how that's affected me in my life.
My family's social class changed drastically when my dad was laid off about four years ago. When you're used to living in the means of one social class and then drop to another one, it's a challenge to change your ways to that of the lower social class. It's created an interesting dynamic and has made for a lot of really interesting learning experiences.
Besides that, my family culture has been shaped by my number of family members, five, and the three daughters my parents have. Not having any brothers has definitely influenced how my family culture has been throughout my life.
A big part of my family culture was influenced by moving so often. Before my sisters were married, we lived as a family in Utah, Washington, Minnesota and Chicago. Living in all of those places gave us many different experiences and shaped our family in different ways. My sisters both got married and then my parents and I lived back in Washington, which created a very different dynamic and culture, just being my parents and I.
On the surface, one would think that any middle class, white, five-member family would be considered as having the same culture. On the contrary, there are many factors that go in to shaping every single family's culture.